18 years old. Liberal arts academy as a language major. Founder and President of the Harry Potter Club.
Will include: Sherlock, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Doctor Who, Elementary, and many more.
*cracks knuckles* Challenge accepted.
Henry was startled by seeing a man with a baby carriage, so cooking would have been strictly “woman’s work.” They would not have taught their son to cook, and it’s quite likely John’s mother would have known very little herself, because at their class level, having a cook (almost certainly a WoC) was practically a given.
John’s stepdad, however, was a mechanic…lower middle class blue collar. Add in the location, the no-sentimentality attitude John was raised with, and that he never bothered to adopt John and give him a different last name, and John’s military service, and I’m seeing a Depression-era resourcefulness stew that came from his step-paternal side of the family. His step-grandmother would have taught his mother to cook at this new class level and without a servant, and so we have a recipe that was meant to feed a lot of hungry young workers on damned nothing that has since taken two tours of Vietnam and discovered Pho as well as learning you can eat anything if you drown it in enough Sriracha-style chili sauce.
So here goes, reverse engineered from a couple of depression-era Irish-German stews from the Kansas/Nebraska/South Dakota area just north of the Oklahoma Dust Bowl and a touch of Southeast Asian flare.
Put a big can of stewed tomatoes in a pot with their juice, along with two or three beef bouillon cubes and two cans of water. Add coarsely chopped carrots, turnips, rutabega, parsnips, spinach, collards, beets, peas, beans, corn, cabbage, onions, potatoes, celery, zucchini, and peppers, depending on what’s in season or cheap, and with emphasis on the cabbage, onions, and potatoes.
Cut up SPAM or hot dogs and fry in a tablespoon of oil in a really hot pan until they get a little crispy and a little caramelized. Add this to the stew, along with a package of egg or spaghetti noodlles that have been broken up into roughly thirds, and a tablespoon of corn starch slurried in water. Add lots of garlic, lots of cayenne pepper, cumin, a tablespoon of molasses, and a squeeze of lime. Boil it all together until the root vegetables are tender…about 30-40 minutes.
He would have made this the first time in desperation when Mary got the flu. It would have been an attempt at making it like his mother/step-grandmother had because he’d seen it a million times and when he called for help, she’d have given him the recipe as “poor baby, here, this is unmessuppable”, but it wouldn’t have tasted right because he wouldn’t be using homegrown and home canned, so he’d have used the sugar, garlic, lime, and chili (cayenne powder because that’s in a white Kansas 70’s pantry and proper southeast Asian chilis aren’t) to make it “Edible ala ‘Nam” and that would have given him the idea to throw in the noodles and stretch it further. He’d have taken some to work, but when he came home, he’d have been shocked to find Mary raving over how good it was and how much better she felt, because frankly, hot peppers, garlic, fluids, salts, vitamin C, vitamin A, and iron are awesome for you when you’re sick.
Hence it was born: John Winchester’s Famous Cure-All Kitchen Sink Stew. Along with toast and burgers, the only things the man could cook.
(You can make it with chunks of stew beef or chicken, but I’d bet that custom M1911 that it originally used hot dogs or spam)
How to make your ramen 9001x better, courtesy of /ck/
QUICK EGG IN UR RAMEN TRICK MY FRIEND TAUGHT ME IN HIGH SCHOOL
pour just enough water into your pot to cover your noodles and other ingredients, then get a small cup/fancy measuring 1 cup cup or w/e and measure out another cuppa watta. dump that shit in too.
make ur ramen. just start boiling and dump whatever you’re supposed to put in in the beginning. u know how to make ramen this isn’t ramen for snot nosed sobbing beginners ok
KEY PART: you know how it says on the back of the package to cook for about 4-5 minutes?? we’re cooking for 5 minutes. wait for your ramen to cook for the first three minutes. stare hungrily if you must. but the EXACT MOMENT 3 minutes hit here’s what you do:
- SCREAM. and then stir your noodles to make sure nothing is sticking to the bottom of the pot. (scream is optional) also make sure your broth is still more or less covering your noodles, if its not add a bit more. it doesn’t matter if some is still sticking up we just don’t want chewy noodles (unless you’re into that) (i’m into that)
- make a lil hole in your noodles. this little hole must have broth in it and nothing more. make it in the middle or the side it honestly doesn’t matter you just need a clear shot to the bottom of the pot
- crack your egg and toss that mother into the hole.
- COVER EGG WITH NOODLES AS QUICK AS YOU CAN
- DON’T. STIR.
- I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU STIR FOR THE REMAINING MINUTE AND A HALF YOU probably won’t ruin anything you’ll just have egg drop soup i guess but IF YOU DON’T STIR
- Congratulations, you have poached an egg in your broth! Your poached egg now tastes like your ramen broth. Revel in your victory.
- no seriously that egg will be mildly chewy deliciousness oh my god if you can perfect this technique you will never have your egg in your ramen another way again
this is as close as you’ll get to ramen made in a restaurant…
I’m just glad this isn’t like that one post that was all “HOW TO EAT CHEAP WITH RAMEN STEP ONE ADD A SIRLOIN STEAK AND $20 WORTH OF INGREDIENTS”.
This is how you can tell I’m poor as fuck.
Most dried ramen is deep-fried which is why it’s so unhealthy. If you boil in plain water, strain, and then add to fresh hot water/broth, it’s a lot better for you in general.
Boil your noodles. Strain. Take a small frying pan and melt two tablespoons of butter (margarine works but butter is better) on low heat. Add the noodles and flavor powder and mix well.
Get a bag of frozen stir-fry veggies from wal-mart. It’s like a buck fifty. Fry those suckers up with some tonkatsu sauce or soy sauce. Boil your ramen, strain. Pile the noodles on a plate, top with your veggies and sauce. Sprinkle a tiny bit of the ramen flavoring on top. Bam, stir fry. The veggies make enough to serve three people (three packages of ramen).
Other things you can add to ramen to make it taste better:
A half a can of peas.
A half a can of tunafish to the shrimp kind.
CHIVES MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER.
Oddly enough, boiled potatoes to the beef kind.
Sliced boiled eggs.
Matchstick carrots (you can get them from most grocery stores for like a dollar a package; alternately make your own from a cheap-ass bag of whole carrots).
If you’re gluten-free, you can make a gluten-free version of ramen by making and preparing spaghetti squash and using the bullion recipe above (substitute anything with gluten in it for something without, obviously). The “noodles” are smaller but damn is it tasty. Spaghetti squash, incidentally, grows at the least provocation so if you get a spaghetti squash (which are generally kind of expensive), save the seeds and plant them anywhere. Water them once a day.
Spring-noodle soup, courtesy my husband’s Asian-American ex-girlfriend: Boil your ramen and strain. Heat up a can of soup broth, or simply prepare the ramen bullion. Dip the noodles into the broth forkful by forkful as you eat. You can add other stuff to the noodles, like veggies and meat, as you’re boiling it.
Saute some green onions and minced garlic in a pan in butter or margarine for a few minutes (you can substitute sesame oil for the butter or margarine as well, if you happen to have it around. The sesame oil gives it a really good flavor). Add a dash of seasoned salt. Boil and strain your ramen noodles. Add to the saute mix, fry for a hot second, and you have awesome garlic noodles.
Minute rice! You can add a small handful of minute rice to your ramen as it’s cooking for a more carb-heavy soup to get you through the day. If you couple this with veggies and meat it’s almost a round meal.
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RAMEN, but if you make macaroni and cheese (Kraft dinner), add a can of tunafish and a half a can of peas to it to make a more filling, more rounded meal.
Seriously, if you are broke and need to vary your diet in any way, I am the person to talk to. I grew up on this shit. A lot of is really unhealthy, but at least you won’t die of boredom.
Whoever wants to eat cookie dough and not get salmonella. Here ya go!
LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN DRINK, SO BEAUTIFUL.
IT’S CALLED ‘ITALIAN SODA’
BECAUSE ITALIANS KNOW HOW TO DO FUCKING EVERYTHING PERFECTLY. JESUS FUCK, LOOK AT THAT SHIT. PASTA AND PAINTINGS AND NOW THEY’VE MADE SODA INTO A FACE-SMASHING ART!
HOW THE HELL DO YOU MAKE SOMETHING THIS FLAWLESS?
WELL SAUNTER INTO THE KITCHEN, MY LOVELY LITTLE SHITS, BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO GET COOKING!
INGREDIENTS YOU NEED INCLUDE SOME WATER, SUGAR, HALF-AND-HALF CREAM AND CLUB SODA,THEN BLUEBERRIES OR STRAWBERRIES.
FIRST, YOU’LL MAKE SOME FUCKING FRUIT SYRUP. IF YOU FEEL LIKE CLIMBING MOUNT EVEREST IN YOUR UNDERWEAR, BLUEBERRIES IS PROBABLY BEST FOR YOU, AND YOU’LL NEED 3 CUPS OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL DARLINGS.
IF YOU WANT TO WRESTLE SOME GREAT WHITE SHARKS WITH A DEER HAUNCH STRAPPED TO YOUR ASS, THEN STRAWBERRIES SOUNDS LIKE THE BETTER FLAVOR FOR YOUR FLAWLESS MOUTH. YOU’LL NEED 4 CUPS OF CHOPPED STRAWBERRIES.
PICK YOUR FRUIT AND STICK WITH IT!
SHOVE 2 CUPS OF WATER INTO A POT, WITH 2 CUPS OF SUGAR! KEEP THAT SHIT ON ‘HIGH’ TEMPERATURE AND STIR UNTIL IT JUST LOOKS LIKE THICK WATER.
PREPARE YOUR BODY, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS MAGNIFICENT.
JUMP OUT OF AN AIRPLANE AND TOSS THE 4 CUPS OF STRAWBERRIES OUT OF THE ATMOSPHERE AND INTO YOUR POT.
ALTERNATELY, IF YOU’RE FEELING LIKE A LAZY SHIT, YOU CAN SCOOP THE FRUIT UP WITH YOUR HANDS AND DUMP THEM INTO THE POT LIKE A FUCKING WUSS.
LET IT BOIL FOR 10 MINUTES, WHILE YOU’RE WAITING, YOU CAN GO SWALLOW A FUCKING TIME VORTEX TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, BUT GET BACK IN TIME TO TAKE THAT SHIT OFF THE HEAT.
PUT A BOWL UNDER YOUR STRAINER BEFORE YOU SHOVE YOUR MIXTURE INTO IT, BECAUSE YOU’RE SAVING THE SYRUP, AND THE FRUIT ALREADY DID ITS JOB.
SHOVE THIS DELICIOUS SYRUP SHIT INTO A CUP SO IT’LL BE EASIER TO HANDLE. I MAKE DOUBLE BATCHES AND KEEP THE EXTRA STUFF IN A BOTTLE MADE FROM CRYSTALLIZED TIME LORD TEARS AND CHILDREN’S LAUGHTER.
SHOVE YOUR SYRUP IN THE FREEZER FOR AN HOUR, BECAUSE IT NEEDS TO COOL THE FUCK DOWN!
NOW GET OUT YOUR JESUS FUCK THIS IS SO FANCY TYPE OF GLASSES, HELL, MAYBE YOU FEEL LIKE USING YOUR ANCIENT CRYSTAL CHAMPAGNE FLUTES, WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK
FILL THOSE BEAUTIFUL BASTARDS WITH ICE.
FILL ¼ OF THE CUP WITH YOUR SYRUP.
THEN GET IT UP TO THE ¾ POINT WITH CLUB SODA.
AND TOP IT OFF WITH SOME HALF-AND-HALF.
BEAUTIFUL BOUNCING TITTIES THAT LOOKS WONDERFUL.
STIR THAT SHIT UP AND ENJOY YOUR FUCKING ITALIAN SODA!
Rebloging because I’ve done this
Oreo Cheesecake Cookies
Recipe from Brown Eyed Baker, adapted from Tasty Kitchen, originally from Multiply Delicious
Yield: About 1 dozen cookies (mine made about 1 1/2 dozen, as I used around 1 inch balls of dough)
½ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
3 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ cup mini chocolate chips (I didn’t have minis so I left these out)
1 cup Oreo cookie crumbs
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper (this is important! I was out of parchment and my cookies got a little overcooked on the bottom, I think the Oreo crumbs cooked quickly on the hot baking sheet and caused this) and set aside.
2. In a mixing bowl, cream together the butter and cream cheese on medium speed until smooth and well-combined.
3. Add the sugar and vanilla extract and mix until the ingredients are well-combined. Add the flour and mix on low until the flour is incorporated. Stir in the mini chocolate chips with a rubber spatula.
4. Place the Oreo cookie crumbs in a small bowl. Scoop the cookies into about 1½ to 2″ balls (the dough will be soft, don’ t worry if it doesn’t scoop into a well-formed ball, the crumbs will help hold it together)and then roll in the cookie crumbs. Place the cookie balls on the baking sheet. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until the edges are golden and the tops are slightly puffed.
5. Cool on the pan for 2 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. Store in an airtight container.Enjoy!
Forget the bread. I’m making these.
What a lovely, simple treat for valentines day….. just to show how much u care x)